Fire

آری، آری ، زندگی زیباست زندگی آتشگهی دیرنده پا برجاست گر بیفروزیش، رقص شعله اش در هر کران پیداست ورنه، خاموش است وخاموشی گناه ماست سیاوش کسرایی / / / / / Life is like fire, can burns forever. If we turn it on we can see flame dances from far away, other wise its dark and thats our fault.

27 is over, after all of those stomach cramps, and all those waiting. The fast and easy result (no need to analyse result): Dr Boss Care for me more than moojan does.
The funniest thing was, after the party Pary asked all her canadian friends to find her an iranian guy.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I also got another results with mom's help: Frist child are mostly quite and shy compare to 2nd and 3rd ones, (p.s I belive Maryam u r an exceptions, lucky u :) ), the thing is if being shy or any other personality is not genetic, ( even thought if it was) we still can change it, and we can make ourself who we want to be, and we don't have any excuse, like: it was genetic, i learned it form my parents, it was beacuse of socitey, and all the other excuses . Its hard to try to change some thing in your self, but probably it worth the challenge, and worth trying and then looking back and see how far we change in the way we always wanted to.

I was reading my previous weblog ( s.t i usually don't do) and I find out how hard it is to read and understand what i wrote. so thanx so much for spendig time to read my stuff. i really love u, and i promiss i will try to read before i publish.
Three sentences worth paying attention too:

1- There is a diffrence between pain and suffering, pain might be there, but we can choose not to suffer.
2- lets find in life what we really want to do, not what others expect us to do at diffrent ages and position, and the diffrence if we r happy and enjoying it then thats what we wanted to do/to be. if we r not, thats what others wanted us to be ( Salma Hyke)
3- Best way to achive self confidance: Do something every body ( or even u) think u can't do it. Just take small steps to accomplish it. ( Mehri Pirooz)

Sourena said Moojan called him, and left a message, he told me that Moojan doesn't call him usually and probably he wanted to talk to me, I'm so excited, its so funny, i act like a little kid, :)
I hope there would be a good news.
I'm looking so forward to 27th, so i can see everybody agian,
The interesting thing about Moojan is he also dosen't show off his feeling and he doesn't act like a player, he has " hojbo haya", haminesh ma ro koshte :)I think thats why i feel so comfortable with him, actually he is the only guy that I'm really myself around him, and i dont' have to think about what i want to say, or how i want to act.I belive he probaly feel the same, other wise he wouldn't call after that 5hrs of waiting and doing nothng beside pool table!!!!
Regardelss what ever happen, if i see him again (hopefully i will on sunday) or not, thats a great experiance
well being with sourena and going through that life style with bunch of sourena's firend who each of them was a" sooje" was so interesting and i learned alot

ITs 3:30 at night monday morning, sourena just went out with couple of his firends, Today sourena woke up at 12( i woke up eariler, I was chatiing with pari,) and the plane was leaving at around 3-4 to St.cat, and i told sourena if we could see Moojan again, :) then Moojan called, and sourena asked him if he wanted to join us To shandiz for lunch, ( I was so lucky I told sourena before that i wanted to see Moojan again:) ) we went there and Moojan payed for lunch Sourena was so happy that Moojan paid, I didn't know its sucha big deal for soruean, he was so excited and was saying how muich fun it is when some one likes his sister,! so he can get a free chelokabab! before we leave home sourena told me that last night he told Moojan that i liked himwhen he told me that i was blushing, and i couldn't start laughting.
u kow make the story short, I didn't give him my msn addressand now i feel kinda bad,
well he didn't asked for it, and why should i alwaus suppose to be the one who give my number, Wasn't this sourena who was talking to that girl on the phone and " koli nazesho mekeshid?"
I kow that kind of attitude is mostly for players, but...
The time we spend together was fun we talekd and played dart, but when we were with other ppl, it was so boring, and we didn't talk to each otehr so much, maybe i should have been more fun to be person,

When I was there, and every body was playing pool from 5 till 10 and i was just watching the,m and moojan did the same, "we being together" was sound dull, but now i'm afriad i miss him

Waterloo
I'm having such a good time in Waterloo, it is so much fun and lots of unexpected experiances, from drinking 75% Bocardi till dancing with the hottest guy i've seen, smoking water pipe, diffrent taste, till comign home and seen a guy came here to sleep over , and find out the house door is open to every body at any time. Mostly getting to know sourena's frind was amazing i didn't know wat kind of ppl he is hanging around with, i just had seen Arash before, but still didn't know him that well.
experincing living with young rooomates, club nights, smoking and chiling getting drunk, picking up girls, playing backgemon, and talking behind girls, having " Maram" and " marefat", drinking for the sake of "vatanm" which one? beliving in god and fasting....
i opened fridge today it was a case of bear, bunch of small yugerts, pickels, and tuna, all u could find in freidge,
sourena had lots of firends but only 1 who is very close to Arash, and 5-6 close firends and tehn their firends, and at last r ppl who he even don't know their name , but he shakes hand and act so firendly, and warm

He had lots of bahayee frinds I haven't seen so much bahaye in one place before, except in Pourya's place. and a wedding in aIran.:
Arash souren'as close firend he had a gf, I haven't seen her yet, she didn't came to party, ( i belive all bahayee Who have non Iranian girl firends ( probably nin bahayee gfs) dthey didn't bring their gf to the new year party last night, Arash dance very" dash mashti" He is getting Monmey from goverment, and he gave sourena 50 $ on his B-day, his mom send hima 50*30 cm carpet of Bahaollah, thourgh my mom, Thats teh only thinghis mom thought her son would enjoy it or would need it, the one and only thing,
Sina, he looks like African, he is tall skinny and he has Afro, He didn't dress up last night, and he came with a sporty look, and he was daning in a funny style, like walking- running... Last night I thought he is one of those cool, some how" lat" guy, but tonight when i saw his reactions and his respond to conversations, I have a new respect for him ( che goftam) HE doesnt' drink, he hasn't drink yet, he doesn't smoke, and he was the only guy over there who was respecting girls, and he didn't see girls as just an object. he is 21 and he is in high school, he is in grade 11, one more year of highschool to go. ( Some how u feel so lucky that u r living in Canada and there is no discrimnations for religouse belives, He had a gold ring of Bahaoolah in his 2nd finger. ( probably married with god) HE told me his not drinking has nothing to do with religouse, its just he doesn't like it, i asked him have u ever try any alchohol drinks? he siad no.
Moojan, ( We had a frind, they had a doughter 4-5 yrs old, her name was Mojan, mojan means "GHonche gol", Moojan is so cute,his nose is not as great as his bro, and he is short, but still he is very cute, and gentelmana, he is 27 and heis going to collage for robotic program, a 3 yrs program, He is also bahayee, ( see I'm not 27 and i finished my study in uni :) ) he did go to Bahayee colage in Tehranm, and studied 2 yrs of programing, and 2yrs of s.t else, bahayee collage had only 4 major that u can choose from, programing, acounting and,,, They used to live in Shiraz before, and after 4 yrs in Tehran, Moojan went to Turkey and he is in canada for 6 yrs, he lives with his parents, While his 25 yrs old bro lives alone,, Moojan is doing his co op now, an d he is working this term, and get paid 16 $/hrs.His English is good.
Moojan 's bro, the guy who sourena forgtet his name and called him nakhoda, the name that sourena in sow famouse with. HE didn't go to collage or uni, He is market manager of branch 12 of Waterloo's Cici compony, The componey bought him a car but he have to use the car for bussiness. He is also very cute, a great dancer he dances very delicatly, i really loved it, after new yrs party we went to his place, we drank so much, and he made us food, a very good tasting chinese food, in couple of mits, his pplace was very neat and nice, he have the same plates that we have at home, ( the one we both got from Iran) HE is very cute, and its very obviouse that he and Moojan have come from a very good carying and high class familly, u could say thata just by the way they were ndancing he had a canadian gf for 3 yrs, as he said " on and off" but she has converted to bahayee its a month now, and she is fasting, although he was drinking, , they even hade a home made drik that has " nabat " in it, still they r going to " bahayee's meeting/ lessons. He hasn't plane to get married yet, he didn't even brought her to the partym he said every body when they say them together will start asking the same old q" When u guys want to get married?" a bahayee guy can't have a gf for a yr- i belive it shoudlebe around 4 or 6 months, and then they r suppose to get married( maybe thats y they've been in and off)
Payman, The cute guy in party who was so hyper, at teh begiing and he dances very good, Ihe was the first totally stranger guy that I went and ask himm to dance with me, probably the only guy who i went and ASK him to dance ( MOojan when I went near by him, he would start dancing, , well first time sourena introduced us together, when i told him that moojan was so cute and nice) Payman learn how to dance by wathching Khordadian's dances, he said he is very good at footbal, the #1 guy in Ont in first yr collage/ university. Sina also admitted that, PAyman told me he was from Esfahan, he was the most handsome guy in the party, I thought he should have been from "zafaranie or freshte...." Sina told me he is from KErman, IT was so funny that y a guy thatt cute should have had problem with teh city he born in and feel ashamed abouat it, ( well mostly when u r not from Tehran, Other big city r in the same level,) KErman or Shiraz or ESfahan whats the diffrence it could have make?
any ways its 5:37 On sunday, moring, next week at this time wold be the first day of new yr(1383) if i see Mooja n tomorow i would have give my email to him :) although its not a big deal but i might do that.
good night

Today the guy in Machine shop told me :
Be BOSSY

He said if u want ur job dine here, u should be bossy (with us) and bring apple pie
.....
I used to thought things will worl much better if i be firendly with them, thats why i used to have long conversation with him

Hi
My mom is back she came today, after 4 1/2 months, I'm so glad, to day when we went to pick her up we were late cuz it was snowingin the way, i didn't knw and i didn't even took my jacket, :) cuz the weatherin St.Catharines was very good, It rained early morning and weather wsa so fresh and lovely,. in the way it was aroudn 6 clock that dad went to an arabic store to buy some stuff that we couldn't find in St.catharines, I got angry cuz mom flight was suoppose to be arrive at 5:45, and we were still on the way,
we get to airport at 6:45 almost,!!! hopefully flight was late for half an hour and mom wasn't there, after alittle waiting and being so nervouse, (i was worried if we were in the wrong arrival place) I saw mom, but i wasn't sure if thats mom, :) me and par went loser and then par ran and hugged her, When I hugged her i was crying, it was very cute, i couldn't be excited and jump and jump, i was quitely crying,
mom was looking for sourena while i heard some one calling for "Ghazanfar" i looked aroudn to see who is this guy, then find out it was sourena who was calling mom.
mom was talking in the car, and then she felt sleep,
me, sourena and par we sat in back seat, and we were playing" lili hoozak" and "tap tap -e khamir" it was so much fun!!!!!!! i cuoldn't remember the last time we 3 seat beside each other in the car.
When we get home baba Bring us the cake he made today, which was very cute of him :) and then mom opened her suitcases, and gave us our gifts, most of the gifts was mine :) some how lots of ppl send me stuff, from mom's firends to mom's uncle, althou I have doubts if they send them for me or they have gave them to mom and she was being nice and gave every thing to me, :)
but it feels so good regardless, soem how i got a feelign liek connection to another world, i felt like i'm connceted to a traditional beautiful blue world, where all the girls has a long black hari and beautiful eyes. a world that girls are all beautiful, smiling and they know how to be attractive, they have their own traditional fashion and art, which is very uniqe in the west.
I got so amazed by a blue scarf which had silver coins at its end, my beaitufule torquoise set of jewlery, and my traditional long blue skirt
I wasn't expecting these things to be so beautiful and perfect, my mom told me she got a traditional skirt for me but i wasn't expecting any thing very exciting, but this one is so great.

I asked mom to bring sourena a silver necklace, soem thing that indicate the iraninan dignity, she brought a brought him a piace of 5*5 cm, which showes a "Biston" craving. and sourena said its too big, and i told him that if u dont' want i would take it.
thats so intertstign that sourena likes jewlery very delicated and thin, while i think soem big jewlery r so beautiful, ( i even got a ring which is plane silver couler circle with 4cm diameter)